My transition into motherhood! Happy Birthday, Madina!

                If I could describe my transition into motherhood in anyway, I would compare it to the Hunger Games, but more so Parenting Games. Except, no one dies (hopefully), and just about everyone can win, but the struggle to stay afloat is real. Directly after giving birth, it was as if some PFO (Parenthood Flying Object) abducted me, transported me to this new world and left me here. The new world looks the same as the old but feels very different. There are veterans and rookies, and the veterans are at the top of the parenthood hierarchy. The veterans, though they mean well, often aim to give advice to rookies, but some advice is unwarranted. However, no matter how many veterans offer a helping hand (for the most part), eventually parents are left to fend for themselves.

                In the first three months I was in a realm where stretches of sleep were a luxury, afforded only to a few lucky parents who by chance had an infant who slept through the night. In this new world, I am not just known as Mariam, rather, I am the mother of Madina. In this new world, it is a tiny, fragile, innocent human being who controls my thoughts, my fears and my every move.

                Like a deer in headlights, I am afraid, confused, and constantly worried about whether I am doing the right thing. I fear the judgment of other parents who have done this before and wonder if I could live up to the expectations of being a good parent. Although I’m slowly starting to realize that being a good parent is somewhat subjective; I still research, read blogs, speak with doctors, and yet find myself trapped in gray areas because my kid will not respond to the techniques that experts suggest.

                Though it may seem that this new world is grim, I assure you it’s anything but. It’s brighter, greener, and more fulfilling that I could have ever imagined. Staying awake is worth it when you get to look into your little ones eyes during the night’s quietest hours. Being scared is okay if it means making sure your baby feels safe. The imaginary rope that has you feeling tied down loosens up when your baby smiles and your heart feels like it’s about to explode into all things that represent happiness. And, as I watch my baby, this little piece of me, grow up in this big world I feel like it makes me a better person. I am able to reflect on my own life, and my own childhood, and recognize the importance of being kind to others. Because with every act of kindness, I realize that my interaction is with someone else’s daughter or son. And, I think about how appreciative I would feel if acts of kindness were passed on to my little girl.

                On her first birthday, I am incredibly emotional. I’m re watching old videos, reminiscing on old pictures and I’m just in awe at how quickly she has grown. I pray that everyone who wants to be a parent gets to be part of this new world. It’s shining, shimmering splendor (I’m sorry). Happy Birthday to my angel, my first born. Happy Birthday, Madina! Mommy and Daddy love you.

*Product Feature* A quick way to keeping your home looking polished during a busy week.

              I decided that I’m going to start featuring some of my favorite products on my blog. Anything that doesn’t require much labor and makes life a little easier for me is automatically a plus. I’ve heard that there is a robot that mops your floors, but I haven’t tried it yet so I can’t write a post about it. However, there is another product that I’d like to share with you that makes it easy to mop your floors when you have a busy week or just need to maintain your housekeeping chores. It’s the Shark Mop.

              

               This really came in handy when I was pregnant. I wasn’t able to maneuver my body and get on all fours to mop my floors (arab style) while I had my stomach out several inches in front of me. So, the shark mop really helped save me some back aches and hard work. 

How it works:

1. You fill the mop with nothing but water. No chemicals or any type of cleaning solution.

2. You wet the mopping cloth and ring out the water until it’s damp.

3. Place the mopping cloth securely on the shark mop, with the scrubbing side down first.

4. Plug it in and turn it on and wait for it to steam, then mop away!

                You may think that if you’re not using any chemicals or solution that your floors aren’t getting very clean…but they are. The shark mop releases steam from a hot enough temperature that is able to sanitize your floors. I don’t recommend the shark mop for deep cleaning, but it is good to use when there hasn’t been much traffic in your house and you don’t feel it’s necessary to intensely mop your floors with chemicals or special wood cleaners. It’s quick, easy and you can use it on hard wood and tile.

                Sometimes I’ll use the shark mop in my daughter’s room, or in my office, where there isn’t much action. And, I’ll use it throughout my whole house if I’m having a busy week. It was really easy to push around while I was pregnant and you’re able to see the steam, so you know it is working to sanitize the floors.

                There are different variations of the shark mop. I have the 2-in-1 Electronic Steam pocket mop, you can find it here . After doing some research, I was able to find one just like mine, at a much cheaper cost from Costco .

                However, despite all of the pros, there is one issue that I have with the shark mop that I should warn you about: The cord isn’t long enough to go from room to room (if you have large rooms). So, that’s a little frustrating, and I think this product would have been much better if it was rechargeable. Otherwise, it’s nice to have around the house for a quick touch up to keep your home looking polished and clean.

                If you know of any cool cleaning products that can help make a busy person’s life easier … let me know in the comment section. Or, if you have the shark mop, what are your experiences?

Babies and TV Time ... What's your take?

                I hope you all had a wonderful Ramadan, and you are getting ready to celebrate Eid Al-Fitr (if you haven't already)! It’s been a while since I wrote a post because I have been really busy this past month studying for my teaching certification exam and planning my daughter’s first birthday party! Thankfully, with the help of many prayers and countless hours of studying, I was able to pass my exam!

                My daughter’s first birthday is actually July 19, but we decided to celebrate a little early because many of our family members are going to be out of town on the 19^th. I had so much fun decorating and preparing for her first birthday party as it was the theme of her favorite show, “Maya the Bee”. I look forward to sharing all of the details with you, but I figured I’d first like to write a post about babies and TV time-- a somewhat controversial subject. 

                How much is too much? Should TV time even be allowed for your child? If so, what types of shows are appropriate? These are all questions that I asked myself before I became a mom. If I’m honest, I was leaning more towards the “zero TV” stance. I feared that, if anything, TV could impair cognitive abilities as babies grow. Also, there are a lot of articles out there that recommend that TV should be avoided for babies under the age of 2. But, my takeaway is if you allow TV for a short period of time without the intention of having only shows teach your child, my opinion is that it's okay in moderation.

It’s no doubt that most parents try to be super mom or super dad, and we want our children excel at everything they do. That includes things that are beyond our control, like, teething for example. Once we see our baby drooling when he or she is 3 months (because it’s possible), we all expect to see a tooth popping in and pride ourselves in having children who raced to pop out teeth so soon.

Although, through my experience and seeing other parents with children around the same age as my baby, I concluded that every child experiences milestones at different times and at his or her own pace. I definitely didn’t want to be that mom, you know, the one who just lets her child watch television all day every day instead of giving her baby time and attention.

However, I decided that if I was to allow TV, I had to be selective. I discovered a lot of shows and videos available online and through cable that Madina might benefit from. I began allowing a half hour of TV a day. She seemed to be pretty amused by all of the colors and animation. Even I enjoyed the catchy ABC, and 123 tunes, and I told my husband I would even jam to them had they been on a CD (CD’s are still in, right?).

            Not too long ago I introduced to her a show called “Maya the Bee” that you can find on the network titled “Sprout”. When “Maya the Bee” comes on my daughter’s face lights up, she kicks her feet and she smiles from ear to ear. This is a reaction I captured of when "Maya the Bee" begins:

  

 Maya the Bee is about a responsible little bee who teaches kids a lesson through every episode as she helps protect other bees in the meadow. Though my daughter does not yet understand this, she loves watching it and enjoys the colors and little characters. Each episode is about 20 minutes, and she watches one or two a day at most. Baby Einstein and Little Einstein are also other networks that are intended for educational purposes.  They have episodes that talk about shapes, colors, numbers and alphabets that might register if you continually help reiterate the information. 

            If not "Maya the Bee", I recently discovered this network on Youtube called Ta Ha TV, which has a lot of cute Arabic and Islamic cartoons for kids. I have to admit that my Arabic is pretty weak, but I do want Madina to be familiar with Arabic, so I try to include the language in her TV time. I don't believe she will become fluent through these shows, but I like the content and it's something I want her to get used to.

 Check out these Youtube links to some of Madina’s favorite Ta Ha videos: About Giving Charity (Arabic) About Mom It's raining! Noora the Bird 

              Whether it’s Maya the Bee, Baby Einstein or Ta Ha TV, I don't think it makes you a bad parent if you allow some TV time at a young age. It also doesn't hurt that TV time also allows me some extra time during the day to catch up with other things around the house, especially on days when naps are short. Another tip if you need to get things done and you don't want your child to watch, say, more than a half hour a day, is try to put your child in front of a window and let him or her watch what's going on outside. My daughter loves when I put her in front of the window, and she sits and observes for up to 45 minutes! 

Here are some articles that I read that helped me make my decision on TV: 
Pro TV
No TV
TV Facts and Suggestions
TV guidelines for Toddlers

What are your thoughts? How much TV does your child watch? Do you allow TV time at all? If so, what is your child’s favorite show (s)?

To all of my Muslim friends: I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed Eid Holiday!

-Mariam 

O Kaaba, O Kaaba, how steadfast is the Qibla.

            Ramadan Kareem everyone! The holy month of Ramadan is upon us, and it is the time for family gatherings, heightened spirituality, and self reflection. For a little more detail about this holy month check out an article I wrote a couple years back for the Dearborn Patch:Five Things Everyone Should Know About Ramadan.

One of my favorite things to see for every holiday is how people decorate their homes in celebration. I am happy to see a lot more homes decorated for Ramadan in Dearborn! I have been seeing larger than life “Ramadan Mubarak” banners across front porches, twinkling lights, and the famous moon and star symbol hanging on windows. Now that I have a daughter, I really wanted to make it a point this year to decorate my own home for Ramadan. I want Madina to know that the month of Ramadan is of utmost importance in our household. And, I want the Eid to feel just like Christmas morning would to a young Christian child.

Speaking of Christmas, even as a Muslim, it’s hard not to soak up the aura that Christmas time exudes. When I think of Christmas, I picture the colorful lit homes, the dazzling Christmas trees with all their hanging ornaments, and the fresh, white snow as it brightens the dark night with its sparkling glow. It’s no wonder a lot of Muslims partake in the Christmas festivities—some even put up Christmas trees in their homes.

Likewise, because the Christmas tree is so popular … many Muslims will put it up during Ramadan or Eid and refer to it as “Eid/Ramadan tree”. However, I decided to steer away from the Christmas tree when thinking about a decorative symbol for Ramadan. Not that I don’t condone the tree, I just wanted something that was different; an eye-catching symbol to decorate my home.

After a conversation with a friend about possible decor options, we discussed the perfect idea (among many, actually). If you ask anyone who has ever been to hajj (the obligatory pilgrimage to Mecca) to describe the Kaaba, the answers can all be summed up into one word: Breathtaking. I have yet to go to hajj, (god willing I will get to go soon) but the Kaaba is such a prominent and beautiful structure in Islam … so why not use a Kaaba as a representative symbol? So after a few hours of feeling crafty I created my own little Kaaba to decorate for Ramadan. Here are some pictures: 

How I did it:

I actually don’t want to tell you how I did this, only because I made it a lot harder than it had to be. I’m just going to give you a much simpler direction: Find a cardboard box big enough to fit presents inside. Be sure to take into consideration the size of your family and how many gifts you will need. If you can find a box with a lid, that’s even better. I’m sure they are out there somewhere because I’ve seen people do gender reveal parties with big boxes that balloons fly out of.

Go to a crafts store (Michaels, Joann Fabric, etc.) and find black wrapping paper and glue it on to all the sides of the box. You can use Elmer’s glue for this. I also bought this yellow shimmering poster board that I thought would do well for the Kaaba’s detail. If you go to a fabric store, they have a lot of pretty gold rolls that you can use … or if you’re artsy you can even use paint! Anyway, I cut the poster board into four thick strips and wrapped them around the black box using tape to stick. I then cut even smaller pieces of the gold cardboard to go underneath the first wrap. If you Google search how the Kaaba looks, it has Arabic writing around it. So, I Googled (should be a legitimized verb) the word “Allah” and printed and cut out the calligraphy (four; one on each side) that you see in the above picture.

Using the Christmas stocking concept, I bought two small gift bags and labeled them with our names to use to accumulate sadaqa (charity). And, finally, I bought a little chalk board with a stand so that I can write a different Quranic verse every few days. You can get really creative with this. Mine is pretty simple, but I wanted to share the idea with you because I think it’s a nice alternative to the tree if you were looking for one. I plan on buying some white lights to go around my Kaaba as well! 

Did you decorate your home for Ramadan? If so, how did you do it? Let me know in the comment section! I look forward to hearing your ideas!

How I left my baby behind to vacation!

                Fortunately for me, my daughter is the first grandchild on both sides of our families. I say fortunately because my mom and my mother-in-law fight (in the nicest way possible) to watch her. It’s truly a blessing to be able to have this luxury, especially because I plan to start my career soon and I know my baby is in good hands. This is what made my decision to jet-set alone a little easier.

                A few months ago, my friends and I were entertaining the idea of taking an all girls trip to Florida (yes, I went again). I decided to make a list of reasons of why I should and should not go. Some of the reasons that were in favor of me going were:

1. Now is the best time to go since my daughter is still the only grandchild.

2. I would most likely be working in the fall.

3. In the last year and a half I have been pregnant and taking classes full time, gave birth over the summer, completed a student teaching internship, and then finally finished my master’s project and eventually earned my degree.

And,

4. I Haven’t had a good night sleep since I was 8 months pregnant.  

             Needless to say, I needed a break. While all of these reasons were justified in me taking this vacation, the one reason I had to stay behind seemed to the most prominent: Missing Madina. However, I knew that this opportunity was not going to come by again anytime soon and so after serious contemplation and encouragement from my husband and friends, I decided to book my trip.

            Shortly after, I prepared everything for Madina for the time that I was away. I wanted to make things as easy on my mom and my mother-in-law as possible, since they were doing me such a great favor. Well, if you ask them, I was probably doing them the favor by keeping her with them. Anyway, I began with her food. If you refer to my previous post titled, “Meal Prep for Baby”, you will see how I puree and prep my daughter’s food. In this instance, I organized all of the food by day and stored them in zip lock bags. I wrapped 3 food “bowls” in plastic wrap and labeled them “breakfast” “lunch” or “dinner” like so:

               I then packed Madina’s clothes in separate bags and labeled them using post-it notes to indicate the corresponding days (Monday through Friday) like so:

                In each bag was a hair accessory, a hat, an outfit, shoes,socks, extra cardigan and leggings just in case it got a little chilly and an extra little bag labeled “Night time Pj’s”.

            I also wrote down a checklist for my husband to refer to both in the morning and at night before and after he took her to my mom/mother-in-law’s. He said he followed it promptly…but I don’t believe him.

                Lastly, I printed out a feeding/nap time schedule for my mom and my mother-in-law to use as a guide. Now, I am fully aware that my mom and mother-in-law have had children before and they are perfectly capable of figuring out when a baby needs to nap and eat, I only wrote this down just as a reference. I informed them that it was tentative, and I’m glad I wrote it because they both found it helpful.

               The night before my departure, I was overwhelmed with the feelings of guilt and selfishness as I questioned: Is she going to miss me? What if she doesn’t realize I’m gone? Am I going to be able to handle this? I really shouldn’t be going, do I really need this? Isn’t four nights too long?

              After shedding a few tears (yes, I’m a little dramatic), my husband assured me that there is nothing to worry about, and that everything would be taken care of. I set my worrisome feelings to the side and tried to look forward to the trip.

              When my friends picked me up the next morning, I finally started to feel excited when the thought of sleeping through the night became a reality. I wasn’t as excited about the beautiful beach, our ocean view balcony, or getting to try some delicious new restaurants… I just wanted to sleep.

              And, so I slept. The first night I woke up out of habit it seemed, but after that I was able to sleep through the night, and take naps, and lounge by the water. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was. Although every toddler in sight reminded me of my baby, I was glad I took the time to myself. I came back feeling refreshed, strong, and ready to jump back into the beautiful role of being a mom.

              Sometimes it’s important to allow yourself time to just relax, catch up on sleep, and make your husband realize how much you actually do. We are all so wrapped up in trying to be super mom to our babies, but I don’t believe a few days away makes you anything less. After my trip, I feel a moms get-away is definitely recommended, especially if you have reliable care for your child. So go ahead… Treat yo' self.

             Have you vacationed without your child/children? If so, what was your experience? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section! Don’t forget to subscribe to the blog on the right hand side of your screen.

-Mariam 

My current favorite summer trend: The wide leg pant!

                I’m loving the summer trends right now because a lot of the fashion is hijabi friendly! You can easily find long maxi dresses, skirts, kimonos, cardigans  and loose-fit clothing at stores like H&M, Zara, Forever 21, Banana Republic etc. But, my favorite thus far this summer has to be the wide leg pant. I cannot tell you how much I love this trend. This item is so nice because it’s light, airy and so modest!

                I stocked up on a lot of wide leg pant styles last year while I was pregnant. I couldn’t wear them while I was pregnant (for obvious reasons), but I intended to save them for the following summer—I’m so glad I did! It also seems that this year, the wide leg pant is back with even better quality styles and so much variety. I have some that are patterned and some are that are plain, and you can style a lot of the solid colored pairs to occasions like I did in this photo—(Disclaimer: This is my failed attempt at ‘modeling’). Photocred @JessicaKobeissi :)

                I was super comfortable in this outfit as I wore it to a relative’s wedding. I bought the pants from Forever 21, the waistcoat/vest from Banana Republic and the bow tie blouse from Forever 21 a few years ago. The color orange may not be your first choice when considering a wide-leg pant purchase, but if you choose to tone it down with other colors that aren’t so bright, or rather neutral, you can pull off a conservative, classy look. 

               You can really re create this look with a variety of colors, for instance, if maybe you had burgundy pair of wide leg pants, and a black/cream waistcoat. Or, you can even use a black bow tie blouse instead. There are plenty of ways you can wear this outfit using different color tones.

               What’s great about the wide leg pant is that you can style it sort of the way you would a skirt. For example, if loose enough to where the pants don’t shape your body, you may not need to find long shirts to go with it. You would be able to tuck in your blouse/shirt (whatever works), which allows for a lot more options when shopping! Not to mention that a lot of the wide leg pants that are out are breezy and light, which is so nice for us hijabis in the summer. 

               I always convince myself to buy hijabi friendly styles before they are no longer on trend (it’s also my way of justifying reasons to shop). I cannot tell you how many items of clothing my mom used to own that are trending now but have disappeared in past years. I still bug her about throwing them out.

              What is your favorite summer trend this year? Share in the comment section below! Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog!!

Getting your hijab done for occasions: Keep it simple, keep it classy.

   So for years we’ve been hearing about women getting their hair done, nails done, face done, etc. But, people, we are in 2016 and Muslim women are getting their hijabs done, too. While this has created some good businesses for some clever women who have learned the art of styling hijab, my personal take is the less flashy, the better. 

                For those of you who don’t wear the hijab, or are not quite sure what I’m talking about… here’s a little rundown: Many women seek out hijab stylists for special occasions so that they can have a different, fancier look that matches their fancy attire. While this may seem a little odd, there are several different ways one can wrap her hijab. For example, in my case, I don’t wrap my hijab one way all the time. It just depends on my outfit and which style works best with it. Likewise, with occasions, sometimes an evening gown might require something a bit more decorative. I usually don’t get my hijab done (only got it done on my wedding day)—I just prefer a fancier material like silk or chiffon-- but I do see a lot of pretty, subtle, and elegant styles that are out there. But, that’s the key in my opinion: Less is always more in this instance.

              However, I do have to admit that I have seen some scarf styles that are a bit too over the top for my liking. It's also important to keep in mind that hijab is a representation of modesty/reserve, and some styles can draw more attention than a woman who wears barely anything to an occasion.

               For instance, I have seen fringes that swing across foreheads, excessive crystal-like embroidery, and braided fabric. Come on ladies, we can do better than that! I’ve also noticed a lot of stuffing that goes into some of the styles. I know that stuffing needs to be put in place to add a little volume, but when stuffed excessively, they tend to create larger than life mountain bumps. I would prefer someone in a two piece hijab with an evening gown, rather than the outrageous bump heights. Or just ask your stylist to keep the stuffing to a minimum.

              If you want to get your hijab done, I suggest you ask the stylist to keep it simple and classy. And, what’s nice about the hijab is that it’s not like your hair where you sit in a chair and wait for the hair stylist to complete the look. If you don’t like what you see, you can easily ask for it to be fixed as it is being designed.  

               Nada Makki is one of the many hijab stylists in the Detroit Metropolitan area. Her slogan for her business is “Simple yet elegant". Here are some pictures of her work that I think are appropriate styles and could complement evening attire.

              Nada can be contacted via phone : (313) 999-9980 and e-mail: hcsbynada@yahoo.com . You can also follow her on social networks such as Instagram, Facebook and pinterest @hijabstylesbynada .

              There are many women, especially in and around Dearborn MI, who are also hijab stylists and are talented in this craft. My suggestion is to envision a style and aim to wear your hijab in a simple and elegant fashion, like those worn in the above pictures. 

              Do you get your hijab done? If so, feel free to give your hijab stylist a shout out. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section!